dordor Posted October 10 Share Posted October 10 Have you ever felt like this? craving intimacy with friends and just when they act like they feel a little bit the same, you get scared? you feel like running away to the mountains? because one day they will leave like every one of your old friends? At the same time I know I should enjoy the time i have left with them but what about when they are not here anymore? Wouldn't the pain be worst if we get closer? What if they'll be able to see into my soul and then decide to go? What if my feeling would be too much for them? I know that not everyone feel this strongly for their friends and I have come to accept that I can't expect my friends to feel the same for me, but i don't know? would they be hurt as much as me when our relationship ends? Would they try as much as me to make this work? Would they accept the way i feel or they would find it weird? I know I should enjoy the journey instead of thinking about it's end but I just can't. Consequently, I would become quieter around my friends, i would go inside my shell to protect myself from a loneliness to come by isolating myself. And i know me acting like this would hurt my friends, so i fake my behaviour around them, which ofc would make me look even more wierd. i just don't know what to do anymore, how to get rid of this doubt. In middle of all my relationships i start to feel like this and when that person leaves me, it just keeps getting worse for my next friend. this blog probably makes no sense, sorry. just needed to write this down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASailorStub Posted October 10 Share Posted October 10 Yeah… friends are beautiful and awesome, but they also have some of the greatest capacities to cause you consternation. I literally can’t live without my friends, but sometimes I just get afraid of them, that power they have over me being so close to my heart. Sometimes I want to pull away from them to limit potential damages, but I always just think… have they ever hurt me? If so was it on purpose? My friends love me back, and that is what makes them my friends. I urge you to ask yourself the same questions and just… trust… it’s a better life that way even if there comes with it danger 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_hoods12 Posted 2 hours ago Share Posted 2 hours ago (edited) On 10/10/2024 at 6:18 AM, dordor said: Have you ever felt like this? craving intimacy with friends and just when they act like they feel a little bit the same, you get scared? you feel like running away to the mountains? because one day they will leave like every one of your old friends? Yes, and it’s called having abandonment and trust issues. In all seriousness though, you’ve probably felt hurt in the past, but just know pain is inevitable. Everyone goes through to some extent at some point in our lives. But it’s how we learn and grow from it that matters. Not all the friends you make are gonna stay your friends. Some friends you make you’ll later realize weren’t your friends at all. But I can assure you that you’ll meet people who will be your friend through thick and thin and be able to trust completely. It may take time to find that though considering that loyalty in general is rare nowadays. Edited 2 hours ago by tiger_hoods12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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