Dragon_Lover11 Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 I've heard people talk about them, but I'm confused. Can someone please help? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 Well, the way I think of them is that they are like committed friendships. Kind of like my Mom and Stepdad. They broke up several years ago, but he lives in the garage and regularly comes up to the main house to play Scrabble with Mom or watch a movie. They are very close, and hope to live together forever. However, there is nothing there romantically or sexually. My Mom is ace. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MulticulturalFarmer Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 Taking an oath of commitment to your BFF? I'm not sure if that's the best way to describe it but I was trying to think of another way to describe things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allhailtheglowcloud Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 (edited) First and foremost, it is important to note that I have never been in a QPR. However, the way I think about them is that a QPR is like a self-defined relationship. The parties involved might wish to incorporate elements of other types of relationships (such as romantic or sexual), or keep it looking more similar to a friendship depending on the preferences of the partners. TL;DR a QPR can be very hard to define as it is so dependent on the preferences of the partners involved. This is why there are so many QPR checklists online - they could be considered a "build your own relationship", if you will. Please correct me if I'm wrong - this is my understanding of a QPR :) Edited September 17 by allhailtheglowcloud 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravigirl Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 8 hours ago, allhailtheglowcloud said: First and foremost, it is important to note that I have never been in a QPR. However, the way I think about them is that a QPR is like a self-defined relationship. The parties involved might wish to incorporate elements of other types of relationships (such as romantic or sexual), or keep it looking more similar to a friendship depending on the preferences of the partners. TL;DR a QPR can be very hard to define as it is so dependent on the preferences of the partners involved. This is why there are so many QPR checklists online - they could be considered a "build your own relationship", if you will. Please correct me if I'm wrong - this is my understanding of a QPR :) I think this is the most accurate response to what a QPR is. If you consider romantic and platonic relationships as similar to the gender binary, QPRs are like the nonbinary option. It exists outside of those labels, and it can resemble one of them, both or neither. There is no set definition for what each QPR is supposed to look like because that defeats it’s purpose. QPRs are supposed to be a way to give a name to the relationships that are hard to define. It’s also worth noting that people who are allo can also have queer-platonic relationships. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck The Guy Posted September 22 Share Posted September 22 YUP glow cloud and ravigirl put it perfectly! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MulticulturalFarmer Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 On 9/16/2024 at 11:35 PM, allhailtheglowcloud said: First and foremost, it is important to note that I have never been in a QPR. However, the way I think about them is that a QPR is like a self-defined relationship. The parties involved might wish to incorporate elements of other types of relationships (such as romantic or sexual), or keep it looking more similar to a friendship depending on the preferences of the partners. TL;DR a QPR can be very hard to define as it is so dependent on the preferences of the partners involved. This is why there are so many QPR checklists online - they could be considered a "build your own relationship", if you will. Please correct me if I'm wrong - this is my understanding of a QPR :) A catchall for relationships that don't fit into other categories? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 On 9/17/2024 at 7:22 AM, ravigirl said: If you consider romantic and platonic relationships as similar to the gender binary, QPRs are like the nonbinary option. It exists outside of those labels, and it can resemble one of them, both or neither. There is no set definition for what each QPR is supposed to look like because that defeats it’s purpose. QPRs are supposed to be a way to give a name to the relationships that are hard to define. It’s also worth noting that people who are allo can also have queer-platonic relationships. I pretty much completely agree, but I don't think it's outside the binary of romantic and platonic, because platonic is in the term. It may be more accurate to say "outside the binary of romantic relationships and clearly designated platonic relationships," with "clearly designated platonic relationships" being stuff like friends and family. Personally, my very basic definition has always been "a committed platonic relationship," and if I'm asked to expand I say that "the specifics vary between each relationship, so it looks different for everyone." 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck The Guy Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 8 minutes ago, Neon said: Personally, my very basic definition has always been "a committed platonic relationship," and if I'm asked to expand I say that "the specifics vary between each relationship, so it looks different for everyone." ^^ agreed that this is a perfect way to say it concisely 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allhailtheglowcloud Posted September 23 Share Posted September 23 (edited) 2 hours ago, MulticulturalFarmer said: A catchall for relationships that don't fit into other categories? In a broad sense, I guess you could say that Edited September 23 by allhailtheglowcloud 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray0May0 Posted September 24 Share Posted September 24 It's like a romantic relationship.. but it's platonic and both people or more can add or remove things in the QPR, there might be romantic elements added in some queer platonic relationships or not, but not everyone's queerplatonic relationship will be the same. think I got the right (correct me if I'm wrong) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragon_Lover11 Posted September 25 Author Share Posted September 25 Thank you all for helping me figure this out! Any other knowledge would be greatly appreciated though ! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MulticulturalFarmer Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 On 9/24/2024 at 6:44 PM, Ray0May0 said: It's like a romantic relationship.. but it's platonic and both people or more can add or remove things in the QPR, there might be romantic elements added in some queer platonic relationships or not, but not everyone's queerplatonic relationship will be the same. think I got the right (correct me if I'm wrong) Oh yeah could a relationship between an aro person and a romantic person have a QPR or consider their relationship to be a QPR too? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck The Guy Posted September 26 Share Posted September 26 1 hour ago, MulticulturalFarmer said: Oh yeah could a relationship between an aro person and a romantic person have a QPR or consider their relationship to be a QPR too? absolutely! in fact it could describe the relationship two allos (non-aromantics) have, although its less likely that they would use that term LOL the point is that anyone can use it!! just like two aros could even designate their relationship as romantic, although thats also pretty uncommon lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MulticulturalFarmer Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 On 9/25/2024 at 10:12 PM, Duck The Guy said: absolutely! in fact it could describe the relationship two allos (non-aromantics) have, although its less likely that they would use that term LOL the point is that anyone can use it!! just like two aros could even designate their relationship as romantic, although thats also pretty uncommon lol I heard of people having special terms for people they were close to back when being gay/lesbian wasn't allowed (i.e. the 19th century), but QPR wasn't the exact word used but something similar for sure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allhailtheglowcloud Posted September 30 Share Posted September 30 I can't remember exactly what they were and I might be wrong entirely but I think I remember seeing something about Boston marriages? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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