Am I aro-ace?,please help, kinda having an existential crisis right now

[Guest Anonymous]

When I see some people I think, ‘oh my god they look fabulous’ Is this attraction?

[ABC]

How strongly attached are you to the sight?

Because there’s a difference between being able to appreciate beauty without being attracted to the person/object, and being attracted to the person/object because they look aesthetically appealing.

By being attracted I mean “wow they look fabulous and I want to do more than that/I can’t stop thinking about the sight/I want to keep looking for similar aesthetics and surround myself around the sights”, if you dwell in it and still think about them for quite long, that’d be attraction.

BUT if it’s just recognizing aesthetic/beauty in the eye of the beholder (you seeing those people that “look fabulous”) and then you move on, instead of dwelling on it, then it’s not really attraction. To note another example, it’s like how same-sex attracted people can see how good-looking an opposite-sex individual is when they look fabulous, without being attracted to the person. Or if you’re walking outside and see a fancy building’s exterior/interior, or maybe a beautiful plant, or a sunset, or pedestrian strangers that “look fabulous”.

To reword the question, do you take time to stare a bit longer (as long as it’s not creepy) and/or keep them in your thoughts even after they’ve left your sights (aesthetic attraction), or do you just glance and move on (not attraction, just appreciation)?

If you dwell on them, I’d call it aesthetic attraction, but if you move on, then it’s not attraction, just appreciation.

 

Also about the aroace part, for the romantic part do you ever see someone and feel butterflies in stomach, or can’t stop thinking about them as a person, and having thoughts of spending time together with hopes of settling together for long-term? For the sexual part do you ever see someone and have sexual fantasies about them, thinking about those particular body parts of primary and/or secondary sexual characteristics, feeling like you want to have sex with them, or just get sexually aroused?

I can only give you better leading questions, and can’t answer anything for you, you’ll have to do self-discovery with trying to answer questions like these honestly.

Because even aroaces can be romance- or sex- positive, this means you can appreciate it without being attracted to it, I already detailed the difference between being strongly attracted as opposed to simple appreciation in the above paragraphs.

Edited Friday at 04:46 AM by ABC