tiger_hoods12 Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 Hey, guys? Not sure if this topic already exists, but I am just curious on what your guys’ thoughts are on having kids of your own. Whether with a partner/queer platonic relationship or by yourself, is it something that you guys think about? In this society, there is a lot of pressure to have kids. Do you guys ever feel this pressure? I also feel like a lot of people assume aromantic spectrum people just don’t want or can’t have kids because they are not with someone. Do you guys genuinely want kids or not? I, purely, just want to know your guys’ thoughts on this in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoodz Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I feel like it’d be cool having a mini me however I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the stress of having a child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekaterina Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 40 minutes ago, Spoodz said: I feel like it’d be cool having a mini me however I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the stress of having a child. A child isn't a mini you though, they are their own person, which is important to understand - like half of types of unhealthy parenting are based on projecting onto the child instead of trying to understand their real feelings, or forcing them to have same interests as you do or forcing them to do things you didn't succeed in as if they were your second life. One should be really careful not to do that. As for me, I at this point am not capable to take fully proper care even of myself and struggle with responsibilities as it is, so definitely not ready for children now. But one day when I'm more capable, maybe I'd consider it (mostly adoption because I'm really not sure about my physical condition to give birth, and also I don't think I would ever want a sex partner) 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoodz Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 3 minutes ago, Ekaterina said: A child isn't a mini you though, they are their own person, which is important to understand - like half of types of unhealthy parenting are based on projecting onto the child instead of trying to understand their real feelings, or forcing them to have same interests as you do or forcing them to do things you didn't succeed in as if they were your second life. One should be really careful not to do that. Nono don’t worry I don’t think like that or anything!! I just meant a little person that comes from me rather than a mini me. I wouldn’t try to project anything onto a child and ofc I know they have their own mind. Sorry for the misunderstanding 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mult Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I do not want kids ever. I don't have the patience for them and will only tolerate them in short bursts. The idea of pregnancy disgusts me to the point of body horror as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raven-in-daylight Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 At the wise old age of 19, i sure as hell know i’m not in a condition to take care of a child yet. i’m unsure about the idea of having a child myself (mostly because the steps to get there are… uncompromising), but i have at times toyed with the idea of adopting. but it’s still far out, so i haven’t put much thought to it, yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I love kids, but with the current state of things, I think bringing one into this world is too cruel of an act for me to commit. Plus I’ve got other things I want to do with my life. I’ll happily babysit, but actual parenthood just isn’t for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 I have a friend who is 21 (I'm 29) who acts a lot like a little kid. A while back, they asked me to be their "mommy". I said yes, and it is one of the best decisions I ever made. I am not sure I'm up for an actual baby tho. That sounds too intense for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batbath Posted August 12 Share Posted August 12 I've known that I don't want kids since I was about 16. Still feel the same way now at 21. Occasionally, I've thought about maybe adopting, but kids are expensive, not to mention the emotional bandwidth you have to have to raise a kid & raise them right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiger_hoods12 Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Okay, for me, personally, I have always been the type of person that would be okay/happy with or without kids in my life. I can envision myself being both types of people. As a kid, I always thought that the thing that would determine which lane I would choose would be my future partner. I’d ask them how they felt about having kids. If it was a yes, then we would have kids. If it was a no, then we wouldn’t and we’d be just fine. But then I found out I was greyromantic and the chances of finding a partner, let alone marriage is very unlikely for me. The thoughts I have around having kids are still the same. Sometime there are days where I want kids, and then other times I’m like, no thanks. I still have time to decide, so it’s not really freaking me out, the thought had just popped up in my mind. Whatever I decide in the near future or however I feel will determine it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qiri Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 Personally, no kids for me. I've felt pressure from some family members and society to have them, but I never wanted them. No hate or judgement on anyone who does want kids, but for me, I'm okay without them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkyTuneRein Posted August 16 Share Posted August 16 No thank you, I'd rather have dried raspberries. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilac Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 When it comes to kids, I am still really young so i can’t know whether I will want them in the future or not. but my guess is that I will still not want any, they are painful, expensive and tiring. not to mention I am ace, which could complicate matters haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravigirl Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 I am definitely not planning on having kids. If I did, it would only be because my partner wanted kids, but granted I do not have a partner either. It’s definitely a possibility that might come up because I would like to have a partner, and a lot of people do want kids eventually. That being said, I would not want to give birth to a child myself. If I was to have a child, it would be either adoption or fostering. But again, I’m not really very hyped on the idea. I have siblings that are a lot younger than me and I partly know the stress that comes with small children, and I just wouldn’t want to deal with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrueEvergreen Posted September 16 Share Posted September 16 For me, I don't think there is really a benefit for me having kids For one, I do not trust myself to take care of another human properly, and I also don't have any desire to do so. Also it would be a huge pressure financially and cut into a lot of time to pursue passions and work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ABC Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 Nope, I’d rather a pet than a human infant or toddler. And I’ve never even had any pet, so I’m inexperienced, but even so, I find raising an animal easier than raising a human. Animals just need survival, but humans need compulsory mandated civilized integration on top of just survival. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kira- Posted September 17 Share Posted September 17 no. i’ll probably end up as the cool aunt/uncle. i do plan on having between 1 and 4 cats or a snake though. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray0May0 Posted September 25 Share Posted September 25 (edited) On 8/8/2024 at 3:52 AM, Spoodz said: I feel like it’d be cool having a mini me however I’m not sure I’d be able to cope with the stress of having a child. Very relatable, it takes a lot of responsibility and self-work to be able to manage the child, handle their emotions, and be able to provide enough food for them, WHILE also being able to take care of yourself. I'm not even an adult yet.. (3 years, 5 years if 20), but I personally just always say no to the thought of kids, my family thinks in 5 years I'm gonna have a lot of kids, BLAHH it really disgusts me too because why.. and ew I just want a pet snake and be able to live with my 2 closest friends that's it. 😭 I don't know why society has this.. life expectation that you should have a family and kids in your 20s. because IF ANYTHING humans don't need to produce so much, there's already so many people in the world, so many there are not enough resources to count. Edited September 25 by Ray0May0 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the.pea.and.the.sun Posted October 8 Share Posted October 8 meeting people my age with kids is always kind of crazy to me, i absolutely can't imagine having kids at my age. but sometimes i do like the idea of being a parents in like, the very very far future, like when im about twice the age i am now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zozz Posted October 8 Share Posted October 8 id love to have kids in the future, but adopted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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