Do you still experience emotional attraction (different than romantic attraction, but still)?

[R_1]

Let me define emotionally attraction as you have the sensation of pull toward another person, emotionally irrespective of whether you want to spend time with them or not. Kind of that you are ok with not doing romance or sex, but just enjoy seeing them and you take your time doing so. This is what I experience more often than romantic attraction which takes me a year or more to develop.

Edited August 5 by R_1

[Qiri]

Yes, absolutely. 

[alto]

yes

[.CORALINE.]

YES, ABSOLUTELY!!! And I can be under someone such as smiling so much when I receive a message from them, doing everything for them, wanting to stay with them and to be notice by them desperately. And feel strong and deep feeling towards someone, and do anything in order to keep that person next to me.

Nothing romantic: no kissing, no dating, no making love, no relationshipp labels, no kealousy, no expectations, no projects for the future, no romantic weekends or dinners. But the feelings are there, I guess it's emotional attraction, right?

[Picklethewickle]

Thank you for providing a description, as I didn't know what the question meant. In my case, no, I don't feel a pull toward people or a special delight in being with a certain person. I guess this just reinforces that I'm anattractional, as everyone else is saying yes.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

Does intellectual attraction count as well as the feeling of vibing based on similar ethics and morals and a desire to do "good" (whatever that means) in the world?

Edited August 8 by MulticulturalFarmer
added words

[MondoBilby]

Yeah, I sometimes feel a really strong emotional attachment to my friends and sort of get crush-like feelings (like a squish), but other times it's just chill and I don't really care that much. Depends on the day honestly, sometimes I love being around people and sometimes I really can't stand it lol

[あおくん]

yes, more often i experience it on a much deeper level compared to the romantic attraction i tend to feel, but that has probably something to do with the fact that i'm lithromantic as well specifically 

[tiger_hoods12]

OH, YES! I experience this deeply when with a specific type of person. When I was in 8th grade, I developed my first crush on this guy. He was pretty popular and I recognized that I had feelings for him. I thought they were romantic at first but then I looked up the types of attraction and found that I was emotionally attracted to him. He talked a lot, and I got an insight into his personality and found myself deeply intrigued. I was deeply into this guy on an emotional level, intellectual level, and even on an aesthetic level. I experienced all those types of attraction towards him and even I was shocked at how intense the emotion was. I’m greyromantic, so that was like my first and only crush. But sometimes I doubt if I really had a crush on him just because previously I had identified as ace/aro and once I came across the term “squishes,” it had me question everything. And it made me wonder if I was still technically aromatic. In the end I settled with greyromantic. I don’t get these types of feelings often, in fact it’s very rare, but when I do, boy, I’m in for one roller coaster of a ride. 

[Guest ABC]

Yeah, it can be platonic, or looking up to them as a role model whether intellectually, aesthetically, or personality-wise. Or lusting after them sexually for the non-aces. (I’m aroallo btw)

[ABC]

Does platonic and parasocial count? Or sexual too for those who aren’t ace, because it’s distinct to romance.

I’m confused why romance and sex got conflated here?

On 8/6/2024 at 3:34 AM, R_1 said:

Let me define emotionally attraction as you have the sensation of pull toward another person, emotionally irrespective of whether you want to spend time with them or not. Kind of that you are ok with not doing romance or sex, but just enjoy seeing them and you take your time doing so. This is what I experience more often than romantic attraction which takes me a year or more to develop.

 

[Picklethewickle]

On 8/31/2024 at 5:35 AM, ABC said:

I’m confused why romance and sex got conflated here?

It's not to say that these things are the same, it's to say you don't experience either one of these things toward the person. You don't have romantic feelings toward them, and you don't have sexual feelings toward them.

[Lexy_bird]

Yes, and I personally feel like where other people might experience romantic or sexual attraction I am attracted to people in a platonic or friendship sort of way. I will take my time to pick up calls and talk with friends for a at weird hours because even just spending talking and sharing what's going on in our lives makes me feel happier. I might not want to have a relationship with someone but I could see someone and want to be good friends because they seem like an interesting person or they might interests as me. 

[kira-]

maybe i did at one point in time, definitely not anymore though. i still have people that i somewhat care about, but i wouldn’t say that i’m attracted to any of them in any way.

[Autumn]

I voted 'sometimes' because it has happened, like...once or twice? And sometimes in more mild or abstract forms. But broadly speaking, no, definitely not most of the time anyways.

[ravigirl]

This happens to me a lot, like there’s often people I just really want to be friends with and want to talk to just from learning a little bit about them. I used to mistake that for crushes for a while.

[TurtleyAce]

For me, I definitely do experience it, just only towards certain ppl

[SpinAndSandy]

On 8/5/2024 at 2:34 PM, R_1 said:

Let me define emotionally attraction as you have the sensation of pull toward another person, emotionally irrespective of whether you want to spend time with them or not. Kind of that you are ok with not doing romance or sex, but just enjoy seeing them and you take your time doing so. This is what I experience more often than romantic attraction which takes me a year or more to develop.

I never really had a name for what I experienced but. this makes it a whole lot clearer. - Spin 🐈‍⬛ (ze/zey/they/meow)

[MulticulturalFarmer]

On 8/9/2024 at 9:11 PM, tiger_hoods12 said:

OH, YES! I experience this deeply when with a specific type of person. When I was in 8th grade, I developed my first crush on this guy. He was pretty popular and I recognized that I had feelings for him. I thought they were romantic at first but then I looked up the types of attraction and found that I was emotionally attracted to him. He talked a lot, and I got an insight into his personality and found myself deeply intrigued. I was deeply into this guy on an emotional level, intellectual level, and even on an aesthetic level. I experienced all those types of attraction towards him and even I was shocked at how intense the emotion was. I’m greyromantic, so that was like my first and only crush. But sometimes I doubt if I really had a crush on him just because previously I had identified as ace/aro and once I came across the term “squishes,” it had me question everything. And it made me wonder if I was still technically aromatic. In the end I settled with greyromantic. I don’t get these types of feelings often, in fact it’s very rare, but when I do, boy, I’m in for one roller coaster of a ride. 

I know what you mean and can relate to your experience. I'm never really sure how to classify the intense emotions of closeness to someone, or if I should call that grey-romantic or not.

I'm not sure if gray-romantic is the term for me, but I definitely am struggling because if I tell people I'm aromantic yet want certain romantically coded things, then I must be lying or looking for attention with a quirky label somehow? Not to mention finding someone who has perhaps hobbies that were more common back in the day.. now that's tough. Things like talking for hours about philosophy, or stargazing maybe? I guess I'm pessimistic because of how much socializing has to be done online.