.CORALINE. Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 So, I'm a HUGE book reader, I LOVE to read, it helps me to escape reality and makes me feel so many emotions!! Also I lile to watch TV series, even if it's not my main hobby. And tp read fanfictions too (mainly RPF). It has always been my world, my safe space, that thing able to make me happy. But I noticed that since I've started to identify myself as aromantic (and fully accepted and embraced my identity) I'm more and more annoyed by romance in books, TV series and fanfics, especially when it's... too much. I hate those kind of love-centered novels, when the main character "can't even breathe without their lovrd one". I don't mind romance when it's not a central or "dramatic" part of the plot, I really like fluff and sweet moments, but when love becomes the only thing that makes characters happy and able to go on with their lives... eww, I feel like throwing the book off the window, I swear!! It wasn't like this years ago, I could read extreme romance, maybe I eas a little cringed but nothing more. The problem is A LOT of books are aobut love and love and love, even if they're from another genre (such as urban fantasy). And I'm very worried because I feel like I'm losing my world, the dimention where I feel more comfortable. I grew up reading and I'm scared at the idea I won't find any book for my current tastes. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 I know how you feel. I also started to be more bothered by romance in media when I realized I was aromantic. Most of it was about being conscious of amatonormativity. Another option though could be you have changed in your reading taste. This too happened for me. Books that I used to enjoy didn't scratch that itch. As I've grown older it's become harder and harder for me to find books I love. I think it's because the more familiar I become with plot points and character portrayals the less impact they will have on me. That said I still encounter many books I enjoy and a few I really love, it's also about the headspace I'm in. That said some possible actions for you: - Read books with queer love stories. People who feel uninterested in straight romance can feel more engaged by queer ones. - Read books with better love stories. There are so many books with bad romance. An example of a fantasy story with a love story I enjoyed is A Midnight Bargain. It even has a aromantic side character. - Choose books without love stories. There aren't as many but they excist. Check for lists online or ask us fellow aromantics here for recommendations. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 I'm the same. Over time, I've lost more and more tolerance toward romantic relationships in fiction. It's reached the point that whenever there is a relationship scene I have to skip that paragraph. I also read a lot of fanfiction, and there was a time I would read everything in the fandom I was in the mood for, even the ones with pairings. I thought I would get more comfortable with shipping if I was exposed to it, but instead my feelings grew more repulsed. Now I can't even look at the ones with pairing tags, which unfortunately cuts out a lot of fanfiction. I too miss reading without the story being ruined for me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthetic Adrenaline Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 Try reading a different genre perhaps. There are scifi stories where romance and sex don't feature much and if they do it's not an important plot point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.CORALINE. Posted August 1 Author Share Posted August 1 5 hours ago, Holmbo said: I know how you feel. I also started to be more bothered by romance in media when I realized I was aromantic. Most of it was about being conscious of amatonormativity. Another option though could be you have changed in your reading taste. This too happened for me. Books that I used to enjoy didn't scratch that itch. As I've grown older it's become harder and harder for me to find books I love. I think it's because the more familiar I become with plot points and character portrayals the less impact they will have on me. That said I still encounter many books I enjoy and a few I really love, it's also about the headspace I'm in. That said some possible actions for you: - Read books with queer love stories. People who feel uninterested in straight romance can feel more engaged by queer ones. - Read books with better love stories. There are so many books with bad romance. An example of a fantasy story with a love story I enjoyed is A Midnight Bargain. It even has a aromantic side character. - Choose books without love stories. There aren't as many but they excist. Check for lists online or ask us fellow aromantics here for recommendations. Thank you so much for your advices, I will indeed make some researches on the internet and I hope I will find something interesting! It's becoming harder and harder but my book addiction is too strong, I know 😅💖 5 hours ago, Picklethewickle said: I'm the same. Over time, I've lost more and more tolerance toward romantic relationships in fiction. It's reached the point that whenever there is a relationship scene I have to skip that paragraph. I also read a lot of fanfiction, and there was a time I would read everything in the fandom I was in the mood for, even the ones with pairings. I thought I would get more comfortable with shipping if I was exposed to it, but instead my feelings grew more repulsed. Now I can't even look at the ones with pairing tags, which unfortunately cuts out a lot of fanfiction. I too miss reading without the story being ruined for me. Oooh I can perfectly feel you!!! I've written many fabrics with a ship in it too, but nowadays I feel like I can't do it anymore or at least it shouldn't be the main focus of the story... And every time I find a story with characters I like and I notice there is a pairing tag I'm like "nooooo couldn't it be all about friendship???" 😅 1 hour ago, Synthetic Adrenaline said: Try reading a different genre perhaps. There are scifi stories where romance and sex don't feature much and if they do it's not an important plot point. I'm trying, yeah! Unfortunately it's not so simple because romance is almost everywhere, I have to cut off most of the books (some of them with very interesting plots) but for now I'm still finding something for me! Hopefully the writing world will evolve in the upcoming years Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 You know, I get great enjoyment and fulfillment from reading books about art and drawing. I don't even draw much, I just love to read about it. You don't have to worry about romance ruining the plot. And it's hella interesting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted August 2 Share Posted August 2 18 hours ago, .CORALINE. said: Thank you so much for your advices, I will indeed make some researches on the internet and I hope I will find something interesting! It's becoming harder and harder but my book addiction is too strong, I know 😅💖 😅 What kind of books do you enjoy? We can give recommendations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Synthetic Adrenaline Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 On 8/1/2024 at 8:11 PM, .CORALINE. said: Thank you so much for your advices, I will indeed make some researches on the internet and I hope I will find something interesting! It's becoming harder and harder but my book addiction is too strong, I know 😅💖 Oooh I can perfectly feel you!!! I've written many fabrics with a ship in it too, but nowadays I feel like I can't do it anymore or at least it shouldn't be the main focus of the story... And every time I find a story with characters I like and I notice there is a pairing tag I'm like "nooooo couldn't it be all about friendship???" 😅 I'm trying, yeah! Unfortunately it's not so simple because romance is almost everywhere, I have to cut off most of the books (some of them with very interesting plots) but for now I'm still finding something for me! Hopefully the writing world will evolve in the upcoming years If you like scifi try reading The Cobra Event. Fascinating story about a disease epidemic and I don't remember any sexual or relationship oriented parts. Also I totally feel you. I write relationships in my fiction because I realize my characters are not me and should probably do normal people things. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.CORALINE. Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 On 8/1/2024 at 9:33 PM, alto said: You know, I get great enjoyment and fulfillment from reading books about art and drawing. I don't even draw much, I just love to read about it. You don't have to worry about romance ruining the plot. And it's hella interesting. That's great! You're lucky to have this passion and you're perfectly right when you say romance can't ruin pics! On 8/2/2024 at 3:43 PM, Holmbo said: What kind of books do you enjoy? We can give recommendations. I really like teen and young adult novels(mostly those with dramatic topics such as family drama, drugs etc etc), urban fantasy (supernatural creatures such as werewolves, angels, demons etc living in a ordinary setting), but I'm open to any kind of book. I just don't like much those with historical setting, thriller/detective novels and extreme fantasy (alternative universes, non-human creatures etc). Romance doesn't bother me when it's a marginal element, not a crucial part of the olot, such as "love is stronger tgan anything else in the world blah blah blah I will love you forever you belong to me and I belong to you whatever". But I appreciate romance when it's "soft" :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.CORALINE. Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 On 8/3/2024 at 7:51 PM, Synthetic Adrenaline said: If you like scifi try reading The Cobra Event. Fascinating story about a disease epidemic and I don't remember any sexual or relationship oriented parts. Also I totally feel you. I write relationships in my fiction because I realize my characters are not me and should probably do normal people things. Thank you for your advise, I'll search the summary of this book and see if it can fit my tastes! Yes, me too. I'd like to create an aro character too, but by far I've always written about alloromantics, even if romance wasn't always a main part of the plot. I prefer to focus on different kind of bonds, for example I have two characters that are deeply connexcted like "soulmates" but they're friends, I can say brothers. They experience romantic love to other people but the central focus of their story is their friendship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Picklethewickle Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 On 8/3/2024 at 2:51 PM, Synthetic Adrenaline said: If you like scifi try reading The Cobra Event. Fascinating story about a disease epidemic and I don't remember any sexual or relationship oriented parts. I really liked The Cobra Event, and The Hot Zone. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted August 11 Share Posted August 11 On 8/6/2024 at 12:44 PM, .CORALINE. said: I really like teen and young adult novels(mostly those with dramatic topics such as family drama, drugs etc etc), urban fantasy (supernatural creatures such as werewolves, angels, demons etc living in a ordinary setting), but I'm open to any kind of book. I just don't like much those with historical setting, thriller/detective novels and extreme fantasy (alternative universes, non-human creatures etc). Yeah teen and YA seem to have romance most of the time. One story which doesn't is Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman. It's about a teenage girl which grieves the death of her sister and her mother's abandonment. With urban fantasy I don't know any examples because I generally don't like urban fantasy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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