Tired of romance in fiction being a must when it is not for kids

[nonmerci]

I guess I needed to post cause I'm upset lol.

Short story : I sent my book to a publisher (we don't have agents in my country in case you wonder). It was a no but I had the chance to have an explanation. One reason is that my book is not YA as I thought, but for an audience a bit younger, like 12+ or 13+. I do agree with it. However, one of the reason for this age target really upset me : it was the absence of romance. If you write YA, you have to put romance.

I am perfectly aware that most teens and YA will experience crushes, maybe relationships, and that it will be important for them. But most teens experience a lot of other things too, that are not a criteria if you write a book. For instance, it is common to have conflict with your parents at this age. But nobody will tell you "if you want to write YA, your character needs to not get along with their parents".

But with romance, it is expected. Cause everybody is supposed to feel it, like it, and read for ships... except if they are children. That's so annoying. We don't need romance in everything, even if it is for an older audience! Are they aware that there are people who look specifically for things with no romance? Romance is often the weakest point of a book anyway, because it is often there as a mandatory thing instead of something natural.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say : I'm upset that people think mature people need romance. No they don't.

[Picklethewickle]

I'm sorry things didn't work out with your book. I hope you find a publisher, one that doesn't require a romantic story arc.

Also, to everything you said, yes, I agree so much. There needs to be less romance in books, not more. To make matters worse, romance is slipping into younger and younger age categories. Relationships should only be included if it is relevant to the story. Romance is not an indication of maturity.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

On 7/24/2024 at 1:27 PM, nonmerci said:

I guess I needed to post cause I'm upset lol.

Short story : I sent my book to a publisher (we don't have agents in my country in case you wonder). It was a no but I had the chance to have an explanation. One reason is that my book is not YA as I thought, but for an audience a bit younger, like 12+ or 13+. I do agree with it. However, one of the reason for this age target really upset me : it was the absence of romance. If you write YA, you have to put romance.

I am perfectly aware that most teens and YA will experience crushes, maybe relationships, and that it will be important for them. But most teens experience a lot of other things too, that are not a criteria if you write a book. For instance, it is common to have conflict with your parents at this age. But nobody will tell you "if you want to write YA, your character needs to not get along with their parents".

But with romance, it is expected. Cause everybody is supposed to feel it, like it, and read for ships... except if they are children. That's so annoying. We don't need romance in everything, even if it is for an older audience! Are they aware that there are people who look specifically for things with no romance? Romance is often the weakest point of a book anyway, because it is often there as a mandatory thing instead of something natural.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say : I'm upset that people think mature people need romance. No they don't.

Slightly unrelated but it reminds me of how Frozen got changed into something romantic when originally it was supposed to be centered around platonic relationships? I haven't read the story in awhile, but that is what I think.

Edited July 27 by MulticulturalFarmer
added words

[.CORALINE.]

Omg!!! I really felt it!!! As an author/writer who would love to publish a book someday, my biggest fear is: what if I write a story where love is not involved and they don't approve it for that reason? I've written about romance in the past despite I'm aro and I could in the future but it's not mandatory in my head, it depends on the characters and what they suggest me. There are many kind of platonic relationships I feel more comfortable to write about... And the thought my job and my value as a writer would be linked to the presence or absence of romance in my stories make me angry.

I'm so sorry for you for what happened, I hope you'll find someone open-minded enough to take you seriously as you deserve!

[ASailorStub]

I agree with this sooo much. I love reading fantasy novels, but nearly half of all fantasy novels are labeled “romance”, and even the ones that aren’t usually feature a (in my opinion) unwanted romance arc. It is a struggle to find anything that I don’t feel disgusted by halfway through. It just feels unnecessary and stupid. Like Nonmerci said it is not a necessity for mature people to consume or crave romance.

Edited July 27 by ASailorStub
Explained a few more things. Added a few more thoughts.

[Picklethewickle]

1 hour ago, ASailorStub said:

I love reading fantasy novels, but nearly half of all fantasy novels are labeled “romance”, and even the ones that aren’t usually feature a (in my opinion) unwanted romance arc. It is a struggle to find anything that I don’t feel disgusted by halfway through.

Yes. I like fantasy, but I've given up reading it because it's too hard to find something that isn't either a love story that takes places on a world with two moons, or tentacle porn. 

[MulticulturalFarmer]

48 minutes ago, Picklethewickle said:

Yes. I like fantasy, but I've given up reading it because it's too hard to find something that isn't either a love story that takes places on a world with two moons, or tentacle porn. 

I thought tentacle porn was a niche thing, but it's not?

[Picklethewickle]

11 hours ago, MulticulturalFarmer said:

I thought tentacle porn was a niche thing, but it's not?

Erotic fantasy, particularly involving creatures, has grown into a big genre. I'm finding that's what people assume fantasy is, and that plotline based stories involving the struggle of good and evil is just some old-fashioned gimmick that died out 30 years ago.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

10 hours ago, Picklethewickle said:

Erotic fantasy, particularly involving creatures, has grown into a big genre. I'm finding that's what people assume fantasy is, and that plotline based stories involving the struggle of good and evil is just some old-fashioned gimmick that died out 30 years ago.

I thought that gimmick died out more like 70 or 100 years ago. But what do I know? I like antiquated languages and books... and stuff even older than that.

[ASailorStub]

On 7/27/2024 at 11:35 AM, Picklethewickle said:

that plotline based stories involving the struggle of good and evil is just some old-fashioned gimmick that died out 30 years ago.

Come onnnn. I like that crap. I thought people still wrote that crap. Ughhh!!!

 

23 hours ago, MulticulturalFarmer said:

I like antiquated languages and books... and stuff even older than that.

I won’t say that I am interested in the antiquated, but I am very much a mind of a slightly different age. Perhaps that is why I still thought people wrote cool things.

[TheSpaceArrow]

Yeah, I don't think that publisher was worth it, if they genuinely think that a book aimed at teens will only sell if it has romance in it. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman is a YA book about a teen girl who is dealing with grief after her sister dies, and she happens to be aroace. The book focuses on her relationship with her family (and sister through flashbacks) and platonic relationships she forges with new neighbors. There was no romantic plotline, not even between side characters, and it was still such a good read. Teenagers have other things to worry about that's not just romance, and those are also worth writing about. 

I'm a fellow writer, and I write side romances in my books because it's fun and also because I like to show different kinds of relationships. Platonic, romantic, queerplatonic. You shouldn't feel obligated to put romance in your book if it doesn't feel right to you, that publisher was talking nonsense. Write what you want read, not what you think will sell. After all, that's why we make media. If you want to see certain representation in media, create it yourself, and there will always be someone out there who would heal from seeing it.

I wish you best of luck on your book. I'm nowhere near close to done with my first draft, and getting your book out to a publisher is a huge accomplishment! Don't give up!

[nonmerci]

Hi, thanks everybody for you support !

 

4 hours ago, lekhasverse said:

. Summer Bird Blue by Akemi Dawn Bowman is a YA book about a teen girl who is dealing with grief after her sister dies, and she happens to be aroace. The book focuses on her relationship with her family (and sister through flashbacks) and platonic relationships she forges with new neighbors. There was no romantic plotline, not even between side characters, and it was still such a good read. Teenagers have other things to worry about that's not just romance, and those are also worth writing about. 

You know, I think I should have made it clearer that my character is aromantic, maybe this publisher would not have said it. It's just too bad that I can't use the term "aromantic" cause it is a fantasy setting here they don't have the word, and it is hard to get people to understand it if they are not already aware aro is a thing and not just the code for "I'm waiting for the one to change my mind".

[Picklethewickle]

6 hours ago, nonmerci said:

It's just too bad that I can't use the term "aromantic" cause it is a fantasy setting here they don't have the word

This kind of brings to mind the "Tiffany problem", where we feel like we can't use certain words or express certain attitudes because it doesn't align with readers opinions of a setting or time period. If you think about it, there are a lot of words we use that don't fit readily into a specific setting, but we use them anyway because they are common to us, and readers will understand them readily. If we wanted to create an entirely new world, and completely avoid colloquial words and expressions, we would have to invent a new language for ever book, and no one would bother to read it. There are lots of words fantasy settings arguably shouldn't have. We use them anyway.

For what little it is worth, many authors have put in considerably less concern towards maintaining setting and language use, and they get published anyway. I read a lot of science fiction, and many an author has used cliches and common expressions simply by changing a few words to gibberish. You see a lot of "stuck between a rock and a smergedeblurgedeeblurp", and it's counted as a brand-new alien expression. I'm not saying you should do this exactly, it's lazy and dumb, but I am saying you can use the word "aromantic" to describe someone who is aromantic.

[MulticulturalFarmer]

On 7/28/2024 at 8:50 PM, ASailorStub said:

Come onnnn. I like that crap. I thought people still wrote that crap. Ughhh!!!

 

I won’t say that I am interested in the antiquated, but I am very much a mind of a slightly different age. Perhaps that is why I still thought people wrote cool things.

That's hillarious but also quite awesome. Or at least it seems that way. Do you feel like you were born in the wrong era, perhaps?

For me, I'd say I'm very interested in history, and semi-interested in classical novels.  Are you interested in history in any shape or form? I guess I'm not sure I completely get what you mean by "being a mind of a slightly different age".

[ASailorStub]

On 7/30/2024 at 8:12 PM, MulticulturalFarmer said:

I'm not sure I completely get what you mean by "being a mind of a slightly different age".

I generally use antiquated terminology, without even thinking I will sometimes pull out a “do’es thou”, “dost thou”, or less common but equally old uses, pronunciations, or words. I also have general values more closely aligned to those that were held just a few hundred years back. My interests lie generally in activities that were just more popular in older days, things like whittling and poetry, which, though popular in an older age, seem to have fallen far to the wayside even before I was born.

 

all these things combined urge me to say that my mind is of a slightly different age.