Milooo_5 Posted July 16 Share Posted July 16 (edited) Sooooo, I feel like I could be aroace, but I'm still not 100% sure about the aro part. In the past, I assumed that crushes were thinking/noticing that someone was cute, but I don't think I really wanted to date them necessarily. In middle school, I think I might've had a crush on a boy, because I used to fantasize about going on dates with him; but, these fantasies never involved kissing, cuddling, holding hands, etc, because it felt weird to imagine someone in that way, and these fantasies and feelings were mainly spurred on by my hope that I would fall in love with him and that he would like me and I could find 'the one' and be happy. Then, a few months ago, I thought I had a crush on this one girl. Upon first meeting her, I didn't think much of her, aside from that she was pretty and a cool person. But then, during second semester, I began seeing/noticing that many of my friends were getting into romantic relationships/liked someone romantically, so I began feeling like I wanted to experience that as well. So, because of this, I realized how pretty this girl was and because my previous "crush" (the middle school guy) looked similar to her, I assumed that that was my type and that I liked her/should like her. So, for about a month, I began fantasizing about having a romantic relationship with her (mind you, these fantasies weren't really romantic in nature; they were just kinda...fantasy fantasies, where we were close and maybe yearning for each other, but never explicitly romantic with one another.) I also fantasized about kissing her once because I felt like I should, and while doing so, I felt nothing. While I did feel nervous and blushy around her when we would hang out and I liked looking at her, I'm not sure if it was necessarily in a romantic way; like, when I stared at her, I wasn't thinking, "omg, I wanna date her!"; I was thinking, "omg, she's so beautiful!" And then, I found out that she had a bf, and I was sad for a little bit, mainly because that meant I didn't have anybody to prospectively date and that I would have to find someone else to feel that way for. And soon afterwards, I got over it. Since then, I've suspected that other ppl might like me and I would entertain the idea of being in a romantic relationship with them, but once I understood that they didn't, I felt a bit dejected that I couldn't find anyone to love romantically and would move on. Sorry this was so long, I just have a lot of thoughts on this! Edit: I've also been rereading Loveless by Alice Oseman and I relate so hard to Georgia that it's painful lol Edited July 17 by Milooo_5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 You really do sound like you're in love with love, not with anyone in particular :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milooo_5 Posted July 17 Author Share Posted July 17 34 minutes ago, alto said: You really do sound like you're in love with love, not with anyone in particular :) This. Absolutely this. I don't feel like I've ever been in love with someone, but I love the idea of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ekaterina Posted July 17 Share Posted July 17 Do you know the cupioromantic label? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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