Can cis people feel dysphoria?

[Mirrorreaper]

On 10/27/2016 at 4:08 PM, Miles said:

Okay, I'm a mental health major and sociology nerd, there's a chapter on gender in my psych textbook, and I'm a dysphoric nonbinary person whose first binder should arrive within about three weeks. When people are uncomfortable with expectations to be feminine or masculine, that's called gender role strain. And if they want to do something like bind, take hormones, get surgery, use different pronouns, if they're uncomfortable with people seeing them as strictly male/female, if they want to use a gender ambiguous nickname...well, they might want to look into whether they're actually cis.

You know, I never knew there was a term for it and I am very thankful for your expertise. I sometimes have cis people tell me they "never think about their gender(But being expected to (insert gender role stereotype here) annoys them too) so what makes them different than me who is nonbinary" and I didnt know there was a term to describe it so thank you. 

I have dysphoric hypomania as well as gender dysphoria so to me it was always a clearly definable feeling for me so pinpointing it didnt take a lot of effort/existential angst.

[benobo]

Disphoria is discomfort related to something with which one consciously or unconsciously identifies in the self. Hair, libido, gender, warts, foreskins, hymens, skin color, blemishes, moles, roles, responsibilities, fetishes, affections, religion, political orientation, one's place in the bell curve ...

 

Disphoria brings us to change the self. It can be healthy. It can be dangerous. Unawares it can hurt other people. How one chooses to respond to disphoria is the important thing.

 

If the exploration of life's possibilities leads to high risk  and abusive behaviors, beware! Disphoria may have causes that are not yet available to consciousness and reason.  

 

Getting help from kind and interested people is cool. They can help one to be more self-aware, self-accepting, and fruitful.

 

 

[rabbitastic]

I've had some gender identity adventures, but right now I'm a cis lady. I sometimes experience body dysphoria. I have PCOS! My medical condition causes my hormones to be different than what is considered "appropriate" for a woman.  I have grown more body hair and in more places than a lot of my cis peers.  My voice deepened a little, and the weight on my body actually shifted some too. My muscle to fat ratio changed; I usually call it my second puberty ?

To me, it's not surprising that I have had conversations with trans women where we're able to bond because we've struggled to hide naturally occurring bits of ourselves to blend in with women who are considered more socially acceptable.  I am, however, aware that my rejection would not be as severe as a trans woman's if we both forgot to shave for example. :C

Hmm... I think that's part of why I don't refer to my dysphoria as gender dysphoria although it is linked to my gender. The origins of the term 'gender dysphoria' also make it feel like the wrong term for me.

[A.C.]

On 10/1/2016 at 4:55 PM, aihpen said:

I am a cis woman and I experience body dysphoria. It has nothing to do with gender so I wouldn't call it "gender dysphoria". It is basically when my internal sense of physical self does not match what I see reflected back to me in the mirror, resulting in feelings of disappoinment, embarrassment, and depression.

 

[SurrealEntity]

I think they can. As you said, it's possible for a trans person to not be dysphoric, so it must be possible the other way around, unless I'm also missing something and that logic is flawed somehow.

[Rolo]

I have a friend who was so severely dysphoric about her breasts that she thought she was trans and was going to have them removed as part of transitioning. Her parents insisted she see a therapist first. She eventually realised she wasn't trans and managed to work through her dysphoria around her breasts. 

 

[Collie]

On 10/1/2016 at 9:01 PM, Zema said:

By definition, cis people cannot experience gender dysphoria. That being said, not all dysphoria is gender related. Dysphoria is just a term used to describe a general dissatisfaction with life. That would mean that depression is a form of dysphoria.

 

I think cis people could also experience body dysphoria, as long as it's not related to feeling like the wrong gender. There are probably some people who are unhappy with their body weight and this is independent of gender. I am unsure as to whether this body dysphoria can be inherent, or whether it is always due to societal pressures and expectations.

 

But, my main point is that not all dysphoria is gender related, and certain mental illnesses can be classified as dysphoria, regardless of whether the person is cis or trans.

 

Dysphoria being the opposite of euphoria......ah, I see! Don't mind me, just had an epiphany. 

[mewix]

Yeah I mean I think anyone can though trans people more so in general depending on how comfortable things are at the time. I mean it is kinda more defining here and in the diagnosis sense.

I think anyone questions whether they are who they are whether that be gender or something else. Whether their body matches who inside or they have the right to be in a certain space or be a certain way. And also things like internalised misogyny/misandry and gender roles can play a role in questioning. Or there are cisWomen who feel their body isn't feminine enough or vice versa so go the opposite way. 

Cis as a just label that means not trans. Cis by default or such.

I don't identify as any gender as such as I don't see any point.

I am still my birth sex/gender tho I don't see it as something to reject but it doesn't define me as much as it is how people see me. 

 

Edited May 24, 2021 by mewix

[ArcticWeapon8]

On 10/1/2016 at 2:55 PM, aihpen said:

All the time I read about how not all trans people feel dysphoria, but I never see anything about the other way around. Are all people who feel dysphoria trans? Are there cis people who feel dysphoria? I've been wondering about this for a while now and I'm actually surprised that it somehow never gets mentioned. Maybe the answer to this is very obvious, but as almost anything that has to do with gender, I am completely clueless.

Anyone has answers for me? It would be highly appreciated

I'm basically Cis and I have physical gender related dysphoria about my body, so yes. My existence proves all the people who said no wrong.

[Karst]

On 7/4/2020 at 5:09 PM, rabbitastic said:

I've had some gender identity adventures, but right now I'm a cis lady. I sometimes experience body dysphoria. I have PCOS! My medical condition causes my hormones to be different than what is considered "appropriate" for a woman.  I have grown more body hair and in more places than a lot of my cis peers.  My voice deepened a little, and the weight on my body actually shifted some too. My muscle to fat ratio changed; I usually call it my second puberty ?

To me, it's not surprising that I have had conversations with trans women where we're able to bond because we've struggled to hide naturally occurring bits of ourselves to blend in with women who are considered more socially acceptable.  I am, however, aware that my rejection would not be as severe as a trans woman's if we both forgot to shave for example. :C

Hmm... I think that's part of why I don't refer to my dysphoria as gender dysphoria although it is linked to my gender. The origins of the term 'gender dysphoria' also make it feel like the wrong term for me.

This is a fascinating perspective to me, because I'm a transmasculine person with something similar going on.  I found out a few months ago through a blood test that my body produces significantly more testosterone than the female average- not exactly an intersex condition, but not quite "normal", either.  I'd suspected that something was going on in that regard for a while-  I have more body hair and a noticeably deeper voice than most cisgender women.  The thing is, none of this causes me any dysphoria, since I'm happy to have a more masculine body.

[zoradreams]

I'm cis, but I use she-they pronouns because sometimes I want to feel less fem and more androgynous. Whenever I feel this way, I feel dysphoria because I feel too feminine, and I hate wearing "girly" clothes like skirts and tight fitting clothes when I feel like this, even though I do normally enjoy wearing those clothes. Also, I feel dysphoria when my character in animal crossing doesn't look like me which sounds weird but like, when the character's hair and eyes are different than mine rl, it makes me feel distressed... 

 

[IlyaPDev]

I know I’m like 8 years late to be replying to this thread, but I’ve seen a lot of comments here saying it’s impossible for cis people to experience gender dysphoria and I vehemently disagree. 
 

As a cis woman, I am extremely dysphoric about the amount, thickness, and length of my facial and body hair. I grow hair like a man, even though I’m not a man.
My voice isn’t my own, it’s too gravelly and low. 
My hands are small but they’re thick and rough, with short wide fingernails. I don’t have my mom’s hands, I have my dad’s working hands. I have my father’s face and facial hair. 
It drives me crazy. No matter if I shave or wax the hair always comes back. I can’t do anything about my hands, they’re just my hands. I can fake a higher voice but after a while it’s exhausting and my voice ends up a little more gravelly than it was earlier in the day. I’m never going to have a period, the staple torture that nearly all cis women experience monthly. I’m never going to have children. 
For the rest of my life, I’m going to have to deal with children, who know no better, asking me or their parents if I’m a boy or a girl and if I’m a girl why do I have so much hair and why is my voice not like a girls. 
I’ve refused to leave the house at all because I look like a little boy or a disheveled bitter man and nothing I do makes me feel passable. It feels almost shameful trying to pass as a woman when I was born a woman.

I’m a woman in an AFAB body (that doesn’t work properly), that feels dysphoric about being perceived as a man, which would definitely fit the definition of gender dysphoria.

Now, your average cis person, maybe not. Most women don’t have these kind of issues specifically and tend to just have body dysphoria/dysmorphia if there is any discomfort at all. 
But, just because it’s very uncommon doesn’t mean that it’s impossible and saying so is spreading misinformation and erasing the struggles of the few cis people who actually have at least some level of experience to understand the trans struggle. It’s only hurting the community and allies in the end.

I have been able to connect with a lot of the trans community, in my big city, in ways I wouldn’t have been able to without the experience of gender dysphoria. I’m really lucky to have them and, despite feeling the extreme debilitating discomfort with how my gender is perceived, I’m kinda happy in a way to be the least cis token-cis at our gay dinners.

[ABC]

On 10/28/2016 at 4:08 AM, Miles said:

Okay, I'm a mental health major and sociology nerd, there's a chapter on gender in my psych textbook, and I'm a dysphoric nonbinary person whose first binder should arrive within about three weeks. When people are uncomfortable with expectations to be feminine or masculine, that's called gender role strain. And if they want to do something like bind, take hormones, get surgery, use different pronouns, if they're uncomfortable with people seeing them as strictly male/female, if they want to use a gender ambiguous nickname...well, they might want to look into whether they're actually cis.

Yes! I HATE gender role strain! I wish my family could just stop repeating the same old tired expectations!

Which leads into:

On 10/28/2016 at 11:03 PM, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

well, there is something that most people experience, that some days they feel more gendered and other days less gendered. or whatever. maybe saying feel more gendered isn't the universal way of describing feeling shame, or something, over a gender-related attribute or expectation.

 

if a cis woman one day, didn't feel woman enough, would that be gender dysphoria? it wouldn't be the extent to which gender dysphoria can be painful, sure. but is it not still dysphoria regarding gender? I would say that any man who's question his manhood and any woman who hasn't felt pretty enough has felt a small level of gender dysphoria. what about a woman who feels like she's not noticed because of her gender? and wishes she were a dude just so that she could be successful. couldn't you even say that a man who wants to look pretty, but feels like he can't because he's a dude, has experienced gender dysphoria, even though he is a cis dude?

 

I find it hard to imagine a trans person who hasn't experienced gender dysphoria in their life, but when you take a step back and ask what gender dysphoria can be, no it  isn't something that is only experienced by trans people. 

And what’s the cause of it? Gender role strain! Gotta say it again, I HATE gender role strain!

I’m cisapathetic, I’m fine in my AGAB, I just despise it if my family members give me gender role strain from time to time. Those comments they make, and the stress it gives to the recepients of such comments, have really made me wish this was a thing: 

 

[lillia]

Dysphoria when broken down simply means "an unpleasant mood state, which can include feelings of depression, anxiety, discontent, irritability, and unhappiness" according to the medical books. Like depression, it's normal for people to go through incidents of this (in the case of depression, bouts of sadness), but when it's a looming thought in your head longer for 6+ months and it's noticeably affecting your everyday life (less attendance to school/work, not likely to go to social events with friends or family, staying in your room a good bit of the day due to the bad feelings, letting your daily hygiene fall on a regular basis, etc.) that's when it becomes clinical and you need to see a doctor about it to figure out how to help yourself through the feeling. 

[squinkiy]

ive read one place that theres smth called dysmorphia. dont quote me on it, if someone else has better info please dont hesitate to extend on it

[Zozz]

On 10/4/2024 at 11:09 AM, squinkiy said:

ive read one place that theres smth called dysmorphia. dont quote me on it, if someone else has better info please dont hesitate to extend on it

dysmorphia is not necessarily a gender thing. anyone can have it