Aroace privilege

[Guest]

Unfortunately I see another point of view, sometimes I feel the privilege of being aromantic and sometimes I see my pride behind me telling me this is you, don't waste it. 

[Zozz]

I've literally been physically assaulted for being trans, but i still don't think that makes aroacespec people more "privileged" or whatever. We all in this together 

[ABC]

Aro but allosexual here, so can’t speak for aces, but even as an aro I don’t sense any “privilege”, if I have to keep pretending to be “heterosexual” I just get a sense of aro erasure.

Instead of LGBTQIA+ it’s usually just LGBTQ+, discouraging aros and also aces. The plus sign might as well be silent if there is too much focus on the more common groups.

Too much overrepresentation for allos (both romantic and sexual) and if there’s anything for the A, they tend to be smaller less known groups, and they tend to be about ace representation. I don’t think I’ll ever see real life aro representation except as one of many flags/identities in those posters. I don’t see being included as “one of many flags/identities” adequate representation, if there was any place like Arocalypse but it’s real life I’d consider it, but I just don’t see anywhere in real life like this, so I keep staying in the closet. Even if there is, it wouldn’t be in my country of residence, or too far away even in the same country, I’m not purchasing plane tickets or driving long hours just to visit an in-person community.

Maybe there is a sense of privilege in never being able to relate to, or let alone experience the “heartbreaks” alloros have, I’ve witnessed my alloro peers having actual very strong emotional meltdowns over “heartbreaks”, but just because we’re different don’t mean we’re free from other negatives, such as having to keep lying about being “straight” for convenience, as well as to not be seen as “wanting special treatment/excuses for not having a partner”. Having to lie to not disrupt the status quo is not privilege, it’s erasure. Just because we’re not visibly gay or bi/pan doesn’t mean we can just be assumed hetero, but it’s just how society works. Same goes for everyone else whose presentation “doesn’t match” stereotypes of “how each identity looks”.

Even as an aro, I would rather be able to experience just one “heartbreak” genuinely (closest I can think of is if you have to dump a toxic family member/friend/colleague/workplace) than have to keep lying about my aroness for society’s convenience.

Different groups have different needs and wants, pros and cons, and the best solution is to maximize pros and minimize cons tailored to all the different groups. It’s like a restaurant serving every customer their specific orders, or even a buffet serving everything for free, and everyone just picks what they want or interested in, while ignoring what they don’t want or are disinterested in, and nobody is also forcing anyone to try and notice whatever has already been ignored out of disinterest.

[Zozz]

4 hours ago, ABC said:

 

Instead of LGBTQIA+ it’s usually just LGBTQ+, discouraging aros and also aces. The plus sign might as well be silent if there is too much focus on the more common groups.

 

Thats why I go for the MOGAI acronym. it doesn't reduce any identity to a fucking plus sign lol /agreeing with you

Edited 3 hours ago by Zozz