Queen of Spades

"Aromantics are immature relationship-wise." See how I busted this myth here: http://www.arocalypse.com/forums/topic/956-what-on-earth-does-romance-have-to-do-with-maturity/

Or "I love you, but I'm NOT in love with you".

No, this is not what I meant. There are 2 types of "romance": non-toxic one and toxic one (as in the one that comes with addiction and abusive/controlling behaviour, and which seems to be glorified nowadays). Also, she once stated that her favourite love song is "Every breath you take" by The Police. The lyrics send shivers down my spine.

Thank you! And no, it's not that. It is because my mother is narrow-minded and places romance on a pedestal. She would always claim that unless you feel you're losing your mind over a person and stuff, then it's NOT true love. Like hell she would believe me. Besides, I DO wish to find someone to share my life with - just no romance and no children (and no, the latter has nothing to do with my being aromatic since there're quite a few alloromantics who also want to be child-free). But she won't get that, either. Because she feel victim to this world's toxic romance culture a long, long time ago.

I'll never tell them the truth. I am as sure as it comes that they won't ever believe me. It's not worth the trouble.

If to you, hearing people call their partners pet names/terms of endearment (baby, sweetheart, honey - the equivalents in my language sound even more awkward), and say "I love you" every 10 minutes in irrelevant contexts is sheer mental torture.

48

(Applying to women who DO experience sexual attraction) If when having sex, you don't care about matching your underwear (colour-wise), or wearing make-up during the hot time, or anything similar. Good hygiene and taking care of yourself is all that matters. And the music genre you like listening to when having sex is trance/house xD.

43

I (personally) perceive kissing (on mouth) as something with sexual connotations. Like the borderline between sensual and sexual. Therefore, if a boy do that to me out of the blue without our having discussed the thing before I'd totally freak out. :-s

I suggest a representative symbol for aromantics only: a heart of ice. A heart of ice can be melted, but it takes time! (a strong bond takes time to form!) A heart of ice is only melted (opening up, becoming warm towards people who prove themselves trustworthy), but doesn't catch fire! ("falling in love" = fire) Also, such a heart is not made of stone ;). (we are NOT unfeeling!)

Banned for laziness :p.

As a child, I had a very good (male) friend who was 3 years younger - we'd known each other ever since he was 1 or 2 as we lived in the same block for quite a while. We kept in touch after he moved out. We'd sleep over at each other's place now and then. We hung out with our mums before a sleepover. He was 9, I was 12. After that we walked towards my block and he took my hand. I felt comfortable since I walked holding hands with my good female friends, too, he was a good friend as well, so it was the same for me ;-?. We got in front of our block and I said hello to a neighbour, also younger than me, who was playing outside. As he saw us he burst out into laughter and started the classic "X and Y sitting in a tree" thing, and I didn't understand why he was making such assumptions!!!

Speaking for myself, I shave my armpits, legs, arms and certain parts of my private area because I want to do it, not because I'm supposed to. I find hair in those places an eye-sore. I'd do it even if I lived on my own on a remote island.

Has anyone been reading the Throne of Glass novel series? I bet my heat the main charachter (Celanea Sardothien - Aelin Galathynius by her real name) is demiromantic and demisexual. The two attractions always lined up for her, but she was friends first with the guy in every single case. Furthermore, somewhere in the third volume there's this sequence where it is described that the thought of sleeping with any man other than the one she desired at the time repulsed her.

I've only been sexually attracted to one boy so far. To me, it happens gradually. At first it was all about thoughts and fantasies. My mind started wandering about, if you know what I mean, Then as time passed, my body started reacting when I thought about him, too. The thought of being intimate with him is such a turn-on. This is how it works in my case. I have a strong desire for us to be skin against skin, to explore his body, and have him explore mine, and to feel his body as close to mine as possible in every way.

Well that's what I was trying to say, too. I'm repulsed by all those things.

I never understood those over-the-top stuff, all those declarations, wanting to be with them literally 24/7, RUSHING THINGS, etc. When I was 14, I started picturing what kind of relationship I'd like with a guy. I imagined we'd be like best friends, with all the ingredients necessary (respect, trust, loyalty, being there for each other etc.). We would be affectionate (hugs, cuddles, hand grips) as a representation of out strong bond which took time to form, and we would do all kinds of activities that best friends do, like coming to each other's house, having soft/energy drinks, eating junk food, playing games, laughing, discussing, watching/searching for random stuff on websites. We wouldn't give up on our own friends and hobbies, we'd find a balance between that and our relationship. I guessed when we're old enough we'd have sex, too (a monogamous sexual relationship, of course), as a way of having fun and make each other feel good, and when we become totally independent from our parents nothing would change except that we'd share everything: the house, the money, the responsibilities, the life. (Thank God I found the word "queerplatonic" when I was 18 :o)

-obsessive/possessive/controlling/stalking behaviour (I have a phobia for that already) -overly-dramatised declarations -dozens of heart and kiss emoticons -people who brag by posting constantly about their idyll on social websites -people who show affection too explicitly when with a group (hand gripping, hugs and pecks in semi-private, like when the two are in a park on their own bench or something, are decent and okay, but making out is not) -pet names + saying "I love you" out of the blue on a (way too) regular basis :-?

I was 7 or 8. A classmate had a crush on a boy who was in my class, too. She would grab him and kiss his cheek and stuff. I could read on his face he wasn't enjoying it. Me (horrified): noooooo, leave him alone! :((((

I'm a woman, my ring and index finger are equal in length, and I'm demi-heterosexual xD.

Has a green rose already been suggested by anyone?

I like cuddling with people I have a very strong bond with, whom I see as best friends and whom I love in my own way. I hug all my friends, but it is only with the kind of people I just mentioned that I feel emotionally safe, warm, comfortable and protected - otherwise I kind of feel like ice. As for kisses, it's more complex. I do the classic cheek kiss as a form of greeting with my regular (female) friends, and also when I congratulate someone or thank for a gift, etc. (don't mind). Mouth kissing: only with a boy I'm also sexually attracted to. A soft peck on the lips, which I'd use as a greeting form with a male queerplatonic partner, represents for me the line between sensual and sexual. It generally feels affectionate and warm, but it has erotic connotations because in the right setting (total privacy), it leads to making out and it turns me on. Neck and body kissing, as well as hugging/cuddling either partly dressed or with clothes off is sexual to me, so I'd only feel comfortable doing all these with a boy I desire(I'm straight) .If the bond between us is very strong (best friend to queerplatonic feelings), apart from turning me on, these activities give me a sense of total relaxation, ease and comfort. I am strange

"normal" straight person: "You will meet a person who will change your feelings." Yes, and you will meet the right person of the same gender who will turn you bisexual xD.