Aimee03

The only way it's ever affected me was feeling too awkward to go to company events where everyone else would be bringing their spouse/partner. But then the pandemic happened, the office closed, and company events are no more. 

It's never happened to me, but it does seem like it would be awkward. Basically the entire concept of blind-dating seems like a bad idea.

Ah, yes. Anytime I even think someone might try to make an advance, it basically sends me into fight-or-flight mode. It's very uncomfortable. I had someone recently ask me to go out for coffee and oh, boy, my anxiety skyrocketed and it was almost panic mode. Fortunately, that sort of thing doesn't happen very often. I haven't really noticed if I become extra-sensitive about it when I'm on my period, but I can see how that could make it worse.

5 hours ago, roboticanary said:

Rather than prostitution you just have people who you pay to be friends with for a few hours? 

Hey, I like that idea! ?

Just call 1-800-RENT-A-FRIEND!

On 9/27/2021 at 11:59 PM, alto said:

Kissing.  Oh G-d, kissing.  The wettest, goopiest, most disgusting thing in the world.  

Agreed! Can't stand it. Does nothing for me.

I generally didn't enjoy any aspects of trying to be in a romantic relationship though.

On 3/29/2021 at 11:25 AM, HumanBeing26 said:

all you’d need is a house and a bed

Umm, ew?? Hard nope.

If you’re greyromantic, I’d love to hear your stories! How do you experience romantic attraction (if you do)?? Do you consider yourself a very romantic person (as in, totally down for classic romantic activities, etc.)?

———

As for me, I’m like a razor thin edge away from being totally aromantic. But I realised that I very very rarely experience romantic attraction, but it is so weak and mild, it’s quite like a vapor. Barely even there, really. It’s very hard to tell it’s there. Like a puff of air from half a mile away. ^^

I’ve never really had any intense crushes either... my “crushes” were probably more like squishes anyway, or they were just incredibly weak and very rare. 

I’m not a romantic person. I’ve never given or received romantic gifts, never “celebrated” a Valentine’s Day, or anything else like that. It just doesn’t ever cross my mind, really.

On the incredibly rare occasion that I might feel a whisper of romantic attraction, I might not mind romantic things so much, but usually I’m somewhat romance repulsed.

4 minutes ago, ry3435 said:

depending on if you've had similiar experiences since then you are probably either abroromantic or greyromantic

Thanks for your reply!

I haven’t had any similar experiences since then, it was just the one time. It’s been around 12 years since then, so I’m not sure why I even remember it...I did feel some sort of love toward him, I suppose, which might be why I remember it. I’m leaning towards greyromantic, but I just wanted some outside opinions like I mentioned before. :)

TL;DR - If you struggled between the aro or greyro labels, how did you settle on one?

Well here I am, questioning my romantic orientation(?) again. I’ve been using aromantic, but now I’m wondering if I might be greyro?

I’m definitely ace as well, but I do experience other forms of attraction, and I just can’t tell if any of them are romantic? I’ve read examples where people have tried describing their experiences, and they all sound rather intense to me. Like feeling a “pull” toward someone they’re romantically attracted to...what does that even mean? 
I can understand the concept of sexual attraction in a very impersonal, abstract sort of way, but the concept of romantic attraction just boggles my mind. 

Presently, I am 31. I’ve never fallen in love as far as I can tell. I thought I had crushes in the past, but more recently I realised they were most likely squishes, since they were nowhere near as intense as what I’ve seen described. The closest experience I had was a long time ago, around age 19/20, when I was dating a guy from my high school that I really liked...my relationship with him was so consuming that it almost wrecked my relationship with my best friend. I’m not sure if what I felt for him was romantic or not though, but I did want to be with him all the time (which is very strange for me, because I’m introverted and need loads of time alone). Looking back on it, it was weird and I’ve never ever felt like that with anyone else. And oh boy, it took me ages to get over him. 

Anyway, this is really long, so if you’ve read this far, thanks! I’m just trying to get some outside opinions about how to differentiate between aromantic and greyromantic.

8 hours ago, Acecream said:

 

”you would be just a caring girlfriend”

Nah. I dated some people...didn’t get the “feels”. They probably thought I didn’t care at all (which is kinda true to be honest, at least in the romantic sense). *shrug*

I realised that I’m ace first and then I started wondering if I’m also aro. I’m pretty sure that I am, but I’m not 100% sure

Early sign I was aro — long ago when I was a young child, I refused to refer to anything/anyone as “cute”. I would say “cool” instead. Probably strange for a preteen girl to never say anything was “cute” lol. I started to say it later on, but I guess it was just an effort to blend in better. 

@DeltaV I just tried them because, you know, allonormativity. Thought that I should try them in the off chance that I might “find someone”. Lol! It was before I figured out I’m aroace though 

*

This thread is interesting; I hope it gets more answers. 
 

I took the weird quiz and got a 3 ?

1 hour ago, roboticanary said:

'I'm melting, I'm melting, noooo'

30 minutes ago, alto said:

Put as simply as possible, it is a distinct fondness or affection toward someone that differs from what you would feel toward friends, family or people you admire. It may be characterized by a unique, almost surreal anxious-euphoria when sensing or thinking about this person and is distinguishable from hero worship. It typically involves butterflies in the stomach, heart fluttering or “melting” when interacting with them, some obsessiveness, all over warm and fuzzy feeling, and being swept into a dreamy state of mind, but experiences may vary depending on the individual and intensity of the case. Desires such as wanting to bond or be physically close with them are extremely common when experiencing romantic attraction

Weird! Thanks for posting that :)

Just read through this entire thread and the only thing I can say with certainty is - I don’t think I’ve ever felt romantic attraction and I still don’t know what it is. I think I sort of get the concept in a very abstract, impersonal sort of way, but that’s debatable.

Just as the title says, can anyone help me out with this? I figure it’s a pretty murky distinction, but I could be wrong. 

@aro_elise wow, thanks!! ?

I feel like such a weirdo since I’ve never experienced anything like that.
 

My poor aroace self trying to use dating apps ?? no wonder I hate them. It all makes sense now. 

@eatingcroutons wow! thanks for replying :)

Me, genuinely wondering why people want to choose one person to spend the rest of their life with. Doesn’t it get boring? How can you even like someone that much to where you want to be with them all the time? How can you be sure that you’re not going to end up hating them? What makes them so special? Etc. 

Rather baffling.

(I was thinking all of this before I even knew I’m aro.)

Similar story here, too. I just figured out that I’m aroace at age 31. Pretty crazy. I had never bothered to question it though, and had assumed I was heterosexual my whole life. Quite a shocking realisation. 

On 2/12/2021 at 4:12 PM, alto said:

But it's also a certain ambience you give off, that according to my exes I have never exuded.

Whoa, really?! Probably explains why I never dated anyone for longer than like 2 or 3 months ?

On 2/13/2021 at 2:47 PM, Mark said:

Wanting to merge identities with "partner(s)".

*hard cringe*

???

Coming back to this to add a question if anyone is comfortable answering (if it’s already been answered, sorry for the repeat).

With sexual attraction, do you like...see random people out in public and feel sexually attracted to them? Does it occur frequently?? Did it begin at/around puberty?

?