tiger_hoods12

I’m asexual and on the aromantic spectrum. One of the biggest signs of being asexual is that you’ve never gotten a celebrity crush, however, I experienced something similar to what you said that had me confused for a second. I remember in my childhood thinking actors such as Eddie Murphy and Will Smith were relatively pretty attractive people especially in their youth. I never associated this as a crush just something like if someone else said that they thought they were hot, I’d see it. Later on, in the life I thought that same thing for actors Yahya Abdul-Mateen II and Tom Hanks when he was younger. For me, it was more of an aesthetic attraction that I was feeling. Especially with Will Smith in his earlier roles. His style was also simple yet cool. Loved it! He looked very handsome, I’ll admit it!

I’m part Haitian. My mom’s side of the family comes from Haiti. Honestly, I, personally, have never had to deal with pressure to have get married. Well, for me, it’s more of a general expected thing that at some point this will happen to me. Overall, my mother’s culture never really influenced how I viewed romance or sexual attraction. My whole family never tended to push those things on me. Their culture was mostly expressed through the Creole language and the Haitian food that my grandma would cook when she’d visit. I’m not sure if this is a Haitian thing to say, but my mom’s side just wanted me to marry a rich man. lol 😂

I was gonna say single friends but single friends often wine about how single they are. So ironically, friends who are in relationships. I mean just so long as I’m not third wheeling. But if it’s just the two of us but they’re in a relationship, it seems better at times.

Sleeping/napping is a nice hobby of mine. This and honestly cleaning. I know that sounds lame, but I do thoroughly enjoy cleaning or organizing rooms or certain areas of the house. It keeps my mind off things and keeps me busy. I also enjoy going on walks. Interested in going on runs as well, but I’m weirdly too embarrassed about starting that. I don’t know why when I know no one would care.

You should ask them how they feel. Sometimes people can act romantic towards people without meaning it. Even allos act like that. They might have a crush on you and they may not. I think you should just be honest and tell them how you feel and what you’re comfortable with in the friendship you have.

You’re certainly not an imposter. Love songs are basically EVERYWHERE. Even us aros can’t escape them. A lot of love songs do be hittin’ so of course you can like them. You can like fairly romantic things and still be aromantic. Aromantic just means you don’t experience romantic attraction. Not every thing is cut and dry or black and white. There is a lot of gray area that most of us ace/aros fall under. We don’t all have to act a certain way to fit into our own community. You should probably tell your friend that your ace/aro though, so they don’t feel led on.

First of all, I just want to say good for you on leaving a qpr like that. It seemed very unhealthy. I know you probably miss them because yo miss the emotional intimacy and the good moments that you guys had together, but from what I heard I don’t think they deserve it. From what they did and continue to do, they are clearly immature and insecure about a lot of things. You shouldn’t be missing someone like that. Of course, this isn’t your fault, but I would encourage you to just stay away from that person entirely. I’m not sure if you guys have cut ties completely or have just not been seeing each other as often. I just think the best way to get over this person is just to leave them entirely. Because you’re right, they’re not worth your mental health or your energy, time, and love. With the way they are trying to manipulate your life even after the relationship is done. They are just bad news! Obviously, do other things to get them off your mind like hobbies and hanging out with friends. But again, I would just completely cut ties and avoid at all costs. I don’t know what this person did to you exactly or the qpr, but never feel bad about complaining about some things. It’s okay to let it out as a catharsis.

Honestly, when people have crushes on ace/aros, I think we’d prefer it if you’d just tell us what’s going on. We all deeply care about our friends and eventually we can tell when something up with you. To answer your question, yes, ace/aros people can date if they choose. They can be in long term relationships and even get married. But it depends on the person. Some of us don’t want a relationship while others are open to it. I’m not sure how long your friend has identified with being ace/aro but you try asking her how she feels about romantic relationships and if she’s ever wondered being in one herself. But this is the exact conversation you should have with your friend. I can’t exactly predict the future for you, but you should just be honest and see where it leads. You could try asking her how she feels about romance and the possibility of being in a relationship and then maybe expand on that. However, some aromantics could be romance repulsed, talking about romance/confessing to her could make her extremely uncomfortable and maybe end the relationship. Really be careful with your wording since we don’t want that to happen.

Since you’re comfortable, it wouldn’t hurt. It may help in this situation depending on her reaction.

You could ask her how she feels about romance. You could ask her if she’s romance-repulsed, romance-indifferent, or romance-positive. If she’s romance-positive or romance favorable, there could be a chance she could be open to a qpr or relationship in general. Before confessing, just check and see if she would be open to a relationship in general. Ace/aro people can still date and there is such a thing as oriented ace/aros. For example, gay oriented, bi oriented, or pan oriented ace/aros exist which is probably a similar feeling to what your friend described with past squishes of hers. Maybe! This is just what I would do then with this information given. I’d find this out first then maybe consider confessing. However, of course, just know not to rush things. She may need time to consider if she wants anything like that to begin with. Besides that, good luck. 👍🏾 If you get a response that different than what you’re excepting, you may need to ask her how she wants the friendship dynamic to be. Particularly yours, since it seems “more than friends” at times. And ask if you’re comfortable with continuing that yourself. No on here wants you to feel led on or anything.

The 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland, Monster House, and A League of their Own live inside my head rent free. I quote each constantly! Alas, no one knows what I’m referencing. 😔

EWWWW!!! 🤢

Thai fried rice and Indian curry! So good.😋

I’m really loving SpyxFamily!

Honestly, from what I’ve seen it’s just straight up obsession.